A big question the members in my Vistage group can always expect me from me is: “What was your role in this?”

We believe in personal responsibility.

I’ll respect the confidentiality of the group so let me illustrate with a story from my family life. My son in his mid-20s called me this week in a foul mood. He was not ill but was taking a “mental health” day from my work because he was pissed off at this boss, and that co-workers was a jerk, and they won’t give him a raise, and on and on. Experienced parents know, you just let them blow off steam awhile. And when he ran out of air, I asked, “Are you open for a question and some observations.” He said, “Sure,” but he was reluctant because he knew what was coming.

“What’s your role in all of this, son?” He put up a thin line of defense that I promptly smashed and offered him the observations that he was inconsistent in his work ethic, that he was putting his own needs and wants ahead of what the company (a privately owned retail store with many competitors) needed. I closed with, “Why would they pay more money to someone who is not helping them achieve their goals or increasing their profits?”

TO his credit, he owned it. Talked to his bosses the next day and came up with a plan to increase his salary if he meets certain goals in the job.

I believe that there are very few circumstances in which another person or  institution is completely at fault. We all have a role in the situations we find ourselves in.

As business leaders that role can be:

• Failing to address a “problem” employee, or supervisor;
• Focusing on short-term goals to the detriment of the health of the company;
• Burying yourself in day-to-day details instead of acting like the CEO who develops and pressure tests strategy;
• Bringing your arrogance instead of your curiosity to the job.

They say it’s lonely at the top for a reason. Often that is because you have no one to hold you accountable. That does not happen in a Vistage group. I, and your fellow group members, will always ask, “What was your role in this?”