Have you ever gotten so fixated on a goal that you started behaving like someone you did not recognize?

(The author of this blog post sheepishly raises his hand.)

This behavior is common among people who are held hostage by their “hyper-achiever” saboteur. And I am in that group. I wrote about this “old friend” in a previous blog post.

This past week, I underwent an examination by my fellow Vistage chairs that helped me realize how fruitless goal-setting can be. Instead, I should be focused on my commitments that shape my behavior, and not committed to the outcome. My behavior is something I can control. The outcome? Not as much. But if I make appropriate commitments and follow them with appropriate behaviors, I might reach that goal. Perhaps even exceed the goal. And if I don’t, I will know that I made my best effort. 

This started when I told my fellow Vistage chairs what my goal was for the number of members in my Vistage group by the end of the year. I thought this perfectly reasonable. Everyone sets goals: lose 10 pounds, exercise four days per week, visit two new continents. But one of the wise colleagues asked me:

“Are you attached to the goals or committed to doing your best?”

When he asked that question, I was the proverbial deer in the headlights. I didn’t know how to answer.

Over the past few days, I have thought so often about that question. What if I took apart the goals mentioned in the above paragraph and wrote them as commitments instead of goals:

1. I am committed to eating healthy foods each day;
2. I am committed to regular exercise;
3. I am committed to learning about other places and cultures.

Behavior that supports those commitments will make me healthier and wiser.

I will not write New Year’s Resolutions. But I will write Dec. 4^th commitments. I commit to being inquiring, kind and assertive. And I commit to meeting business leaders who would benefit from belonging to a peer group with a chair who would help them grow personally and professionally.