What if we made four rules for children?

1. No smartphones until high school.
2. No social media until age 16.
3. Enforce “phone-free” schools.
4. Restore the adventurous, independent play of childhood.

Are you starting to twitch? Reaching for your phone?

I’m not here to tell anyone what to do. My children grew up before mobile phones took over our lives. My sons have fond memories of “venturing” into the empty fields around our home. Back in the late 1960s, I was taking the subway all over New York City at 13. So, I’m definitely not the judge here.

I’ve been listening to Jonathan Haidt, a social psychologist and author of The Anxious Generation. Haidt believes the mental health of young people is declining. He says their ability to communicate is being stifled by small screens, and their sense of wonder is being shaped by social media companies more interested in profit than well-being.

Many parents I talk to are deeply concerned about the effects of cell phones on their children. They mention increased bullying and boredom being replaced by endless TikTok videos, designed to create a desire for products and services.

Haidt supports his argument with both scientific and anecdotal evidence, and it all rings true. But rather than leaving us in despair, he offers hopeful solutions. There are phone-free summer camps and organizations, group activities that stimulate children’s brains—like choir and band—and team sports with minimal adult interference. Perhaps the riskiest but most rewarding option is to band together with other concerned parents and encourage activities not tied to cell phones.

As I said, I’m not here to lecture anyone. I’d love to hear your thoughts and start a discussion.