I remember becoming so distraught as I watched the opening scene of “Saving Private Ryan” on Normandy Beach. I recommended the movie to my mother and father and my mom said, “Oh, son, we could never see that movie. Daddy and I knew so many men who died that day.”

Never was Memorial Day more poignant than in that moment.

More than 1.3 million Americans have died during all the major wars involving the United States. The Civil War, fought on our land, was the worst. During World War II (my parents’ generation), more than 400,000 service men and women lost their lives.

How many lives were affected by the people who went to war and never returned? How many children never met their fathers and mothers? How many dreams were never realized?

“Conflict is inevitable. Combat is optional,” wrote the pastor Max Lucado.

“This is the day we pay homage to all those who didn’t come home. This is not Veterans Day. It’s not a celebration. It is a day of solemn contemplation over the cost of freedom,” wrote journalist Tamra Bolton.

It is only the most optimistic person who can believe in the end of war and peace throughout the world. I try to live with that optimism.