At last week’s Vistage meeting, our speaker challenged us to go deep into our beliefs system and talk about the gender and ethnic biases we have seen or perhaps even practiced. There was uncomfortable silence in the room for 30 seconds. Then 60 seconds.

(My mind raced to some of the shameful bigotry I learned – often from the mouths of those I was closest to – as a child about Black and Jewish people, about gay people. Try as I might to suppress these memories, they will not go away. I thought of times I let these unjust characterizations affect my actions. I thought about the gender bias that has formed the parallel rails of my life for so long.)  

Finally, after about two quiet minutes, some of the members spoke up about the times they have suffered at the hands of ethnic or gender bias.

As business leaders, we often espouse “our values.” Our company values. But our earnest speaker, Shan Foster, challenged us to question whether our actions match our values. “Our values aren’t values until they are tested,” Foster said.

Political forces have twisted the Diversity Equity and Inclusion discussion for gain. That is unfortunate. In our businesses, it means creating a place where people from different genders, belief systems, ethnicities and more can feel welcome and free to be themselves and do their best work without fear of being treated differently.

In recent Vistage meetings we have shared stories of terrible mistreatment. One mistreated because of race. Another because of gender. In each of these cases (which happened decades ago), the person never reported the incident because they knew “nothing would be done.” And in each case, the person made a decision that “this place is not in my future.” Talk about quiet quitting. They decided to leave because they knew they were not being treated fairly. 

Your workplace will not flourish when people do not feel comfortable being themselves.

There were moments of hope in our meeting too. One of our members told of watching movies with his children who have come to expect people of different ethnicities on the same team.

For me, I am trying to unburden myself of the shame associated with some of my past behaviors. I want to use that shame and Foster’s strong message to inspire me speak for my values when they are tested.